Text Box: To all my readers everywhere from the United States to Canada, Australia, India, China, Malaysia and many more places, I hope your Holidays have been Grand and you have a wonderful New Year!  :-) Ernie

Text Box: December 2007

Text Box: Happy New Year! Ernie ernest@ealewisconsulting.com

Text Box: Work Space Nightmare   If you think your office/cubicle is small, imagine working here...   Thanks to Sue in Houston!

Text Box: Fun Stuff Telemarketer Fun If you are still getting calls from the few remaining telemarketers out there, try these remedies! 1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money. 2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died . . . " 3. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work if they are married, how many kids they have, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary. 4. (This works great if you are male) Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with XYZ Company. " You: Wait for a second and with a real husky voice ask, "What are you wearing?" 5. Cry out in surprise, "Judy? Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where she could know you from. 6. Say "No" over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up. 7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends, would you be my friend?" 8. If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out goat blood? How about human blood?" 9. After the Telemarketer gives his or her spiel, ask him or her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you can't just give your credit card number to a complete stranger. 10. If the Telemarketer is selling raffle tickets, tell him or her that you work for the same company, and that employees cannot participate. 11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a Telemarketer, set the receiver down, scream, "OH MY GOD!" and then hang up. 12. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask if he/she will give you their home phone number so you can call him/her back. When the Telemarketer explains that telemarketers cannot give out their home numbers say, "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The Telemarketer will agree and you say, "Me either!" and proceed to hang up. 13. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times. 14. Tell them it is dinner time, but ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation. For added effect, clanging of cutlery and dishes is recommended. 15. Tell the Telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you some beer. 16. Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number. 17. Tell the Telemarketer, "Okay, I'll listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes." 18. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up... louder... louder! 20. Tell them to talk very slowly, because you want to write every word down.

Text Box: Obesity and Workers’ Comp Claims As we end 2007, we come to that time for New Year Resolutions that often include healthy life style adjustments. As an incentive for employers to investigate how they can support these resolutions and why, here’s some interesting information recently published in the “Archives of Internal Medicine.” In a study between 1997 and 2004 of nearly 12,000 Duke University workers with at least one medical checkup during that period, it was found workers’ compensation claims were more common and costlier for obese employees as judged by Body Mass Index data from the patients’ medical records. During the study period, participants filed 2,539 workers' compensation claims for $5 million in medical and $5 million in indemnity claims.   Researchers found that workers' comp claims rose with BMI: · Almost six workers' comp claims were filed per 100 workers of normal BMI, compared with more than 11 claims filed per 100 of the heaviest workers.

Text Box: This is from John in Virginia Beach, VA.   Thanks John!   There are 7 girls on a bus. Each girl is carrying 7 backpacks. In each backpack, there are 7 big cats. For every big cat there are 7 little cats.   Question: How many legs are there on the bus?   * Answer at the bottom!

Text Box: In This Issue: a) Obesity and Workers’ Comp Claims b) Non-Profit Corner c) Notable Quote: d) Brain Teaser: Test Your Creativity! e) Don’t Forget to Appreciate Your Leaders f) Helpful Tip: Leadership Development g) Fun Stuff: Telemarketer Fun

Text Box:   “A person always doing his or her best becomes a natural leader, just by example.”   -Joe DiMaggio   From Notable Quotes at http://www.notable-quotes.com

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Text Box:   Executive Coaching  · Strategic Planning  · Team Building  · Continuous Improvement  · Professional Development © 2007, E.A. Lewis Consulting          www.ealewisconsulting.com

Text Box:  Feel free to forward this newsletter. Subscribe and unsubscribe information at the bottom.

Text Box: You are receiving this free newsletter at your request or as part of E.A. Lewis Consulting Services. If you have been forwarded this newsletter from someone you know and would like to subscribe, please click here to send an email. To remove your name from our mailing list, please click here to send an email.   This material is provided as general information only and is not a substitute for legal advice or consulting services specific to you, your employees, or your organization. This content may be forwarded in full, without permission, when used in a not-for-profit format. No other reproduction of this publication, in whole, or in part, is allowed without the express written consent of E.A. Lewis Consulting. This newsletter is a free service of E.A. Lewis Consulting, Management Tips and Best Practices Newsletter, all rights reserved. Copyright 2007 E.A. Lewis Consulting. For past issues, please click here   *Brain Teaser Answer:  (2 x 7) + (7 x 7 x 7 x 4) + (7 x 7 x 7 x 7 x 4) = 10, 990

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Text Box:  “Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society.” - MARK TWAIN, Mark Twain's Notebook

Text Box: Non-Profit Corner Nonprofits are a surprisingly big part of the economy. They produce 6% of the US Gross Domestic Product and provide jobs for 1 in 14 Americans. Nonprofits provide and utilize 83.9 million volunteers for almost 16 billion hours of volunteer time each year towards community services. Source: Jan Masaoka, Board Café, CompassPoint Nonprofit Services   For a great non-profit resource for staff and board members and more information, subscribe to Board Café at: http://www.compasspoint.org/boardcafe/index.php